Parenthood. No not the TV show (I’ve never seen the show). I’m talking about actual parenthood and the funny/somewhat ridiculous things that come along with it. I’ve only been a parent for 7 months but that has been time enough to gather fodder for laughter. So here are my Top Ten Things (So Far) I never realized parenting involved:
- A much larger percentage of your time is spent on the floor. Ever wonder what’s down there on your floor? Wonder no more because you’ll be getting up close and personal with all your dust bunnies.
- Cold coffee. Always the coffee gets cold. Always. This is because you pour the coffee when baby is happy but by the time the cup reaches your mouth baby needs something. So you put the coffee down and that’s the end of that story.
- Speaking of cold coffee, don’t ever try to drink coffee straight from the pot because you don’t want to wash another dish. It will burn your face, trust me.
- Rocking the baby and talking yourself down from scratching the itch on your face because baby is almost asleep. I mean I knew parenting would involve sacrifices but not itching that scratch is akin to waterboarding if you ask me.
- A new vocab that includes words like Boppy, Bumbo, WubbaNub, Infantino, and Exersaucer. Yeah this kid is not learning english.
- Clipping a toddler’s toenails should be an Olympic sport. Or at least a rodeo sport. It’s like hog tying except with more tears.
- Similarly, it is humanly impossible to simultaneously eat a cinnamon roll and care for a newborn. ‘Nuf said.
- Rescue Remedy. This natural pain reliever came highly recommended by other parents and the pediatrician. We picked some up for Charlotte and she made a funny face when we gave her the recommended 2 droplets so Richard and I tasted it. I don’t want to give away Rescue Remedy’s secret or anything but we’re pretty sure it’s just whiskey.
- Baby buggers could be harvested and sold as industrial adhesive. What I’m trying to say is that they are sticky. So sticky that if you get them on your hands or clothes you’ll be like Chevy Chase in that scene from Christmas Vacation.
- The enormous love I have for my baby. All kidding aside, I have been surprised by just how much I love my little bundle of joy. I wouldn’t trade any of it!
Thanks for the laughs, Charlotte. I’m sure there’s more to come!
As I type this you are supposed to be napping in your swing in the nursery. You will likely fuss a couple more times before you actually fall asleep but you need to power down for your morning nap. It’s funny that as time goes on, it seems to me that you will always be suspended somewhere between newborn and now. What I mean is that unlike you, I will always have that point of reference. You won’t remember when you stop taking a morning nap but I will. And even now I compare it to when you slept most hours of the morning. You won’t remember when you went from Size 1 diapers to Size 2 or when you sat up by yourself the first time, but I will. And I compare your Size 2 diapers to your newborn ones and weep because you’re growing so fast. I understand now what moms and dads mean when they say, “You’ll always be my baby.” I know you’ll grow up Charlotte, you’re doing it before my very eyes. But I have known you from your very first moment onward and I won’t be able to help but compare backwards to see how far you’ve come.
What I want you to know right now is how hugely and deeply I love you. When your dad and I decided we wanted to bring you into our lives we knew it would mean challenges. We are prepared, and have already had to do things “for your own good” (like vaccination shots…and getting dressed, you hate getting dressed right now). And there will be plenty more discipline down the road but just know that you are a precious gem to us, a treasure of invaluable worth, and whatever we do in discipline it’s because we love you and want to be faithful parents to you. God has given you to us as a gift and we want to be good stewards of your life. I hope you can understand both that kind of love we as parents have for you and the kind of Never-Stopping, Never-Giving-Up, Unbreakable, Always and Forever Love God has for you.
Now may the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.
My husband knows me and loves me well. For Christmas this year he found me Spode Stafford White dinner plates to match my lovely Spode tea cups. To be perfectly honest, I wanted this specific pattern because that’s what they use in the Downton Abbey TV series. The pieces are timeless and classic and, in my opinion, are exactly what china should look and feel like. I also received a set of Wallace Baroque silver plated candlesticks. They are perched beautifully on our dining room table. I used to love the look and smell of brand new things but more and more I’m attracted to all things old and antique. Why?
I love the character, the longevity, the history in the pieces. I like the idea that these pieces might actually last for my children and their children. And I’ve also come to a “carpe diem” place in my day to day activities. I’ve decided never to keep things I love boxed up or hidden only to be brought out for “special occasions.” No, God has given us each day as a gift and so everyday is its own special occasion.
We ought to live life to the fullest and gratefully drink up all the blessings He’s given us. So in my little world that means brewing tea and sipping it out of my fanciest Spode china cups, joyfully as unto the Lord. And lighting the candles in the silver candlesticks and not worrying that the baby will knock them over or put them in her mouth. And using cloth table linens because folks, there is always bleach. In fact, our family is very seriously considering buying a white couch…AND having more children. Sound like a contradiction? This lady helped me see the light. But I digress.
Antiquity has given me a better perspective on things as a new stay-at-home mom. People were required to do things differently before technology. I am truly grateful for dishwashers and washing machines and microwaves, not to mention computers and iPhones. But I brew that cup of tea and drink it slowly exactly the same way some great lady did several hundred years ago. I feel connected to her. I think to myself “If she had time to make this tea AND hand wash all her laundry, surely I can get through a few thousand more disposable diapers.” Amen.